Note: This is tailored for Balgram, so it had Japanese in it. Just so you are aware.
Your instructions are as follows:
Make sure you have 2 1/2 hours of free time, or split the list into thirds; 1-10, 11-20, 21-30.
Follow the link provided. But don't do anything there yet. Go back to the document.
Read the first paragraph. Then read number one and it's paragraph.
Go back to the link. Click play all. Make sure the autoplay is OFF.
When the video is done playing, go back to the document and read number two.
Proceed to the next video. Continue like this, reading first then watching, until you come to the end.
Read the last two paragraphs.
Report back on whether the war was won or not.
ATTN: The following is classified ABOVE TOP SECRET and is
for EYES ONLY. Burn after reading.
The following is a YouTube playlist created for Balgram by
her little sister Noble, in an effort to convert her to the widening world of
K-Pop, despite her deep entrenchment in Japanese culture. A lot of time was
spent going through and picking the perfect soldiers to create this K-Pop
Conversion Army, and a lot of thought went into the order in which the videos
appear. If this army fails in its mission, all hope will be lost for the
individual Balgram, and Noble will suffer in misery, unable to communicate with
her older sister on every aspect of her life, as she wishes. So it is with a
determined, do-or-die attitude that Noble sends this army on its way. ^-^
1.
Super Junior – Bonamana*
a.
We start out this battle with the video that
started it all. Noble didn’t get completely entrenched in the K-Pop culture
until after she saw this video, and it’s not hard to see why. From the powerful
vocals to the mesmerizing dancing, everything about the thirteen member group,
minus a few in this particular video spoke to Noble on a deep level. Since
first watching this video Noble has learned all the members names and can now
name them on sight, but she certainly doesn’t expect the same from Balgram, so
don’t worry too much.
2.
Big Bang – Beautiful Hangover (J)*
a.
Following immediately after is a much smaller
group attacking with a powerful song, the first in half a dozen songs strategically
places throughout the army. These songs, this one included, are particularly
important to the battle, because they utilize Balgram’s own defense against
her, combining the power of the Hot Korean Men with the Japanese language. By
using the Korean band singing in Japanese, Noble hopes to entice Balgram enough
for her to unconsciously search out other songs by the band, inevitably leading
her to more soldiers in the K-Pop Army that didn’t get a chance to participate
in this particular battle.
3.
U-KISS – Neverland*
a.
Following quickly after is the latest song by
Noble’s most favorite group. A lot of screaming was involved when she first saw
it, soon after being released from her K-Pop free imprisonment in Texas. This
group in particular has a special place in Noble’s heart because two of the
seven members are from the Noble’s homeland. She sends this soldier in to
battle, trusting that the irresistibleness of the group and its international
stars will enthrall Balgram and leave her wanting more.
4.
TVXQ – Rising Sun (J)
a.
Next on the list of fighters is one of the most
popular groups in Korean singing a Japanese version of an older song of
theirs. This soldier has a specific goal
in mind, because as a remake of a Korean song, Balgram will get a taste of the
group in her own language, then immediately be drawn into the Korean version.
Noble believes that, because this video isn’t as powerful as the others on her
fight list, Balgram will be able to see how much better the Korean’s really
are. The vocals are strong, as they always are with this group that is not
together anymore, however the video itself is questionable, especially compared
with the original.
5.
TVXQ – Rising Sun*
a.
After the weaker soldier sent in to distract
Balgram, Noble follows through with the incredibly powerful original version. This
soldier has been very important to Noble, inspiring a story which in turn
inspired the creation of a singular world that Noble calls her own. While Noble
realizes that not everyone will be able to appreciate the creative power behind
this video—and maybe even the video itself—she sends this soldier into battle,
despite knowing that it might end up a casualty in the battle. She risks one of
her most precious soldiers because she believes the beauty and power of the
song and video will move Balgram closer to where Noble wants her to be.
6.
Beast/B2ST – Shock (J)
a.
Continuing the pattern, Noble sends in the next
on her fight list, a new Japanese remake of an older song. Noble is almost
ashamed to admit that she likes this version better than the original version,
but it isn’t hard to see why. With a more mature group, more powerful dancing
and vocals, and a fabulous combination of English, Korean, and Japanese all
wrapped into one mega song, it will be hard for Balgram to resist the urge to
move. Noble notes that the rap parts of the song are in Korean, while the verses are in Japanese and some of the
chorus is in English. Just in case there is any confusion.
7.
Beast/B2ST – Shock*
a.
The original version of the previous soldier is
sure to draw Balgram deeper into K-Pop territory, away from her supposed safety
in Japanese culture. With music and visuals incredibly similar to the Japanese
version, Balgram will find herself almost unable to tell the difference. In
fact, the similarities will leave Balgram’s head spinning, unable to tell what
is Japanese and what is Korean anymore, bringing her closer to defeat.
8.
CNBlue – Love*
a.
The first soldier on Noble’s fight list that isn’t
an actual boyband, but rather an actual indie band that got signed because they
were so popular, this next battle will be a close one, showing Balgram a
different side of K-Pop. The distractingly feminine singer with long hair will
more than likely be what causes this to be a close one, however Noble is
confident that the uniqueness of an actual band in K-Pop, as well as the lead
singer’s power vocals will make up for it. On top of this, Balgram will
unconsciously be taught to speak Korean via the subtitles that are present in
this battle.
9.
TVXQ – Beautiful You (J)
a.
Another double agent in the war, this soldier
might distract Balgram with the man that looks like a Final Fantasy character. Noble
sends this soldier out with a sense of nostalgia for the good old days when
this group was still fighting together, back when the maknae (baby/youngest)
still looked like the maknae.
10.
SS501 – Love Ya*
a.
Next on the fight list is a powerful comeback
song from Noble’s ultimate bias, her first true love, and the one group that
Noble loves every single singer and will never ever be able to pick a favorite.
Compared to their older songs, this one lends an air of true maturity and masculinity,
and combined with the perfect vocals, epic dancing, and beautiful faces, there
is no way Balgram will be able to resist. This soldier is a powerful way to end
the first third of the war.
11.
Big Bang – Koe Wo Kikasete (J)*
a.
The next in the line of K-Pop soldiers sneaking
into Japan is the perfect way to open the middle part of the war, and will
leave Balgram secretly wondering why she had never listened to K-Pop in the
first place. With vocals beyond amazing, Balgram will be completely unable to
resist the voices of Taeyang, Daesung, and Seungri, as well as the strength of
TOP and G-Dragon’s rapping in English. And Noble secretly ‘forgot’ to put any
Korean songs from this group on her fight list, and has the confidence that
Balgram will be unable to resist seeking them out on her own. Especially all
the solo songs all the group members do. Because those are amazing too.
12.
2PM – I’ll Be Back*
a.
Noble takes a bit of a risk with her next
soldier, putting a dance group on the flight list. While a little bit different
than most of the soldiers on the list, this one is sure to impress, and maybe
even short-circuit. This one is sure to get Balgram’s feet tapping, distracting
her from the ultimate goal of luring her over with handsome men who are
powerful dancers and who have amazing bodies hidden under those awesome
jackets. Trust me. Amazing bodies. All that dancing really pays off.
13.
TVXQ -
Summer Dream (J)
a.
Hitting back with another secret agent, this
time infiltrating with a fun, cute video, Noble sets out to prove that there
are many different kinds of K-Pop, under the disguise of Japanese. Lots of
bright smiles and liquid drenched Korean men is guaranteed to make the opponent
smile. Noble hopes her prey won’t pay attention to the long hair on the maknae
in this one, as this video is from his long haired days while the group was
fighting in Japan. Noble is sure that Balgram will search out other videos by
this group—since she put so many of their videos on her fight list—allowing her
to see the maknae in better hairstyles.
14.
F.T. Island – I Hope*
a.
Another uniqueness in K-Pop culture, this soldier
is sure to have a big advantage against the opponent. Featuring an actual band—instruments
included—time travel, a talent show, and a red head with the brightest smile,
Balgram is sure to fall for this adorable trap. And while Noble wishes Balgram
to fall completely head over heels for this trap, she also needs to make sure
that she doesn’t fall for the lead singer’s cute red hair, because the singer
has a habit of changing his hair for every. Single. Music. Video. And Yet his
smile never changes. Noble believes this song will impress Balgram, who is sure
to be surprised when she can’t find very many songs by the same artist that are
anything close to as cute. Because the band mostly sings sad songs. Just saying.
15.
Big Bang – Tell Me Goodbye (J)*
a.
Alright, next on the fight list is, once again,
a secret agent sent to infiltrate the Balgram encampment. This one, however,
has a special purpose that Noble has in mind. With its fabulous storyline
similar to an actual movie and amazing amounts of English sprinkled throughout
the song, as well as the classily dressed men, this soldier is sure to inspire
Balgram just as it did Noble. A short story came from this video, one that
leaves Noble in tears every time she rereads it, and she sends this precious
soldier into battle with the faith that it will knock Balgram over and leave
her completely open for the next attack.
16.
F.T. Island – Girl’s Don’t Know*
a.
The follow-up attack comes from the band that has
fought before, though this one is slightly older, and features a different
mood. If Balgram is paying attention, she will notice that there is a different
singer playing one of the guitars. If she questions this, Noble will tearfully
inform her through her network of spies and messengers that the singer has
since left the group. However, the ragged hole was filled with another of equal
talent. This song will leave definitely leave Balgram confused, since she will
not be able to tell what genre K-Pop really is, and Noble will happily gloat
that K-Pop is ALL the genres.
17.
TVXQ -
Mirotic*
a.
The next soldier on the list is guaranteed to
send any straight girl straight to her knees in awe, and is strategically placed
after a sad song to reap as much as possible. This battle will more than likely
send Balgram scurrying through YouTubeland, and she will wonder what hit her,
as this song—by the same group who fought in all those secret agent Japanese
battles before—is completely in Korean. It will take her a moment to realize
this, but by then she will have already lost. By now she will start to realize
that the group is the same one that did Dangerous Love, and she will wonder why
she hadn’t fallen completely for them before.
18.
Infinite – Before the Dawn/BTD*
a.
Out of all the soldiers sent into battle, this
one is by far the most precious to Noble, and if Balgram really knows her, she
will immediately understand why. From the powerful vocals and the completely in
sync dancing to the exciting danger and epic fight scenes, this video has
inspired fight scenes and stories alike. And once the battle is over and won
Balgram will find it very difficult to resist searching all of YouTubeland for
more videos of this group dancing, because with how in sync they are how can
they not have a hive mind? And in fact, this video was secretly imbedded with a
subliminal code that will cause Balgram to click on the “37 Videos” button
above the video and force her to watch the first video on the list, entitled
Paradise Dance Ver..mp4. And Noble’s laugh will be heard everywhere while
Balgram watches, completely entranced by the group’s hypnotic dancing.
19.
TVXQ – Bolero (J)*
a.
In the last attack from a secret agent, Noble plans
on bowling Balgram over with the powerful vocals of TVXQ once again. And after
the particularly intense attack of the previous soldier, this will allow
Balgram a little rest, while she recoups. It will leave her thinking that she’s
safe, and will cause her to relax a little in her defenses. The beautiful
lyrics, strong vocals and relaxing video will give her a false sense of
security and leave her open to the next attack.
20.
TRAX – Oh My Goddess*
a.
In the final attack of the second third of the
war, Noble throws a below-the-belt punch at Balgram with this soldier, meant to
appeal to her fluffy, adorable-loving feminine side. With the third actual
band, lots of brilliant sunlight, and a perfect mix of cute love song and
rocking love song, this is sure to bring the opponent several leaps and bounds
closer to the goal. With only two actual members in the group, this soldier is
the smallest, but definitely not the weakest.
21.
Super Junior M – U (C)*
a.
With this first attack of the last third of the
war, Noble throws a curveball that will leave Balgram’s head spinning with a
song in not Japanese, not Korean, but Chinese. She hopes that this surprise
attack will entice Balgram to fall completely head over heels with the first
three singers—who all happen to be Noble’s three favorite—forcing her to search
out more videos until she realizes she accidentally watched a dozen. In fact,
Noble hopes that Balgram quickly figures out that this song is actually a
remake of a Korean song. While watching this video, Noble is sure that Balgram
will notice something strange and Noble would like to say, yes. That was an
epic fart. And the little guy/violinist is from Canada.
22.
SHINee – Lucifer*
a.
The next soldier to head into battle is the second
boyband video that Noble ever saw, and one that she knows all the words to. And
while this is a younger looking group, looks can be deceiving, which this group
proves by singing a powerful song while filling the video with intense dancing.
A lot of repetitive listening went into this song, and it is very catchy, sure
to fill Balgram’s brain until she can’t think of anything else. As long as she
doesn’t pay attention to how young the group really is—the oldest is just a few
months older than Noble herself—then the plan to get this song stuck in Balgram’s
head will work perfectly, allowing the follow up song to completely blow her
away.
23.
TRAX – Blind
a.
We take a little break from the intense dance
videos to send in a sneaky sad romantic rock video sure to dig at Balgram’s
heart featuring an actor she is sure to recognize from the previous Chinese
video. As this is an extremely new video, Noble hasn’t had a chance to watch it
over and over and over and over and over again. However, as with all the
soldiers she sends to the warzone, the vocals are powerful and beautiful. But
Noble sends a secret message along with the video, warning Balgram not to go
looking for other videos by this group without her guidance; otherwise she
might get scarred and scared away. Because their older videos are… weird.
24.
Beast/B2ST –Please Take Care of My Girlfriend (Say
No)*
a.
Noble starts using a new strategy with this
song, laying another sad song on her prey. This one, completely different from
the other songs by the same singer, features strong vocals, very little
dancing, was written by a fan for this group, and is not featured on any of
their CDs. With such a unique story behind it, it is sure to interest Balgram,
and will show her that even one group can sing in many different genres and
still sound amazing.
25.
2AM – I Did Wrong*
a.
In the companion to the afternoon group, Noble
continues the barrage of sad songs with an exceptionally sad video that tells a
story. With sweet story and tall handsome men with the most powerful voices
especially made for singing beautiful ballads, Noble is sure that Balgram is
going to want to search for the full video, which is almost twice as long and
tells the full story.
26.
SS501 – Find*
a.
Next on the fight list is another ballad, this
time featuring five of the most beautiful voices in the world, including the
voice of an angel is one that will completely entrance Balgram. This one, along
with the one before, will secretly teach her to speak Korean, as well as read
it, thanks to the subtitles that just happen to be there. One couldn’t ask for
a better soldier than this one.
27.
Beast/B2ST – Fiction*
a.
As we start barreling towards the end of the war
with hope in sight, Noble makes sure she has Balgram’s undivided attention with
another ballad featuring a very loud pen and a piano that looks like a regular
upright but secretly is an electric. This video, which is the latest release
from this group, is a powerful soldier with an amazing step pattern that is
going to distract Balgram for the next few weeks while she tries to learn it,
it’s so cool looking. On top of that, if she doesn’t think the redhead looks
like a handsome elf prince Noble might have to throw a slideshow into the
battle. However, for the time being she doesn’t see the need for
reinforcements, as she is confident that by now she has already won the war,
and all she has to do is seal it with a kiss from the best soldiers, which she
has saved for the last few.
28.
Bang Yong Guk – I Remember (Featuring Yang Yo
Seop from Beast/B2ST)*
a.
Noble follows up with another sad song, this one
depressingly so, in the hopes that she will leave Balgram completely broken by
the end of the video, prime meat for the finish. While most of this song is
rapped, it is incredibly powerful rap, and combined with the slightly violent music video that left
Noble in tears each time she watched it, there is no way Balgram can’t fall
completely for the redhead and his deep, powerhouse voice. Noble sends the
soldier with a warning, though, as this video was actually banned from playing
on Korean television for being too violent. Though it’s not nearly as violent
as Tae Guk Gi, the Korean War movie Noble was force to cry her way through in
class on Thursday… Anyway, if Balgram doesn’t flinch while watching this movie,
she is obviously not human and must come from outer space. Making her a more
awesome target for conversion.
29.
F.T. Island – Birds (Remake)
a.
After being destroyed by the devastating soldier
before, Noble sends a happier soldier to cheer Balgram up and help her recover
as she finds herself completely lost in unfamiliar territory. With Balgram
surely solidly planted on the Korean side by now, Noble allows her to be
charmed by this group’s most recent release, a remake of a popular Korean song
not sung by this group. The group has such bright eyes and smiles that, as
Noble powerhouses through to the end of the war, there is no going back for
Balgram.
30.
Super Junior – No Other*
a.
Noble saved the best soldier for last, her
secret weapon against the defenseless Balgram. If she hadn’t been converted up
until this point, she will explode after this. As this is the most romantic,
adorable, cute, happy song on the planet, it is sure to make Balgram feel all
warm inside, helping her realize that she chose the right side. The only thing
that would make this song and video better is if they had made it a few months
earlier, when Han Geng was still a member of the group… Noble is a little
bitter about that… However Noble made up for it by falling completely head over
heels over the leader, the man in red pants, and she hopes that Balgram will
fall for someone as well. Noble is confident that this video will seal the deal
on Balgram’s conversion, because it is her secret weapon that she used on her
mom, and it worked with her. Noble’s mom is in love with the man in the plaid
shirt who ties the girl’s shoe.
At the end of the war, Balgram is allowed to take a breath
and get herself acquainted with the culture she is now a part of. If she has
any questions about any of the bands or any of the singers, Noble is more than
happy to answer each and every question, right down to what their birthday and
blood type is. She hopes that Balgram had a fun time riding the rollercoaster
it surely was, and encourages her to continue watching and listening. If
Balgram wants any music to listen to, the little star next the title indicates
she owns the song and she is more than willing to send it to her. Also she has
a LOT more where these came from. And by a lot, Noble means 1.6 days’ worth of
music in every genre you can think of. Just ask.
Author’s Note:
I hope you enjoyed this. It was all meant to be fun and
games, and was completely inspired by the pun you laid on me yesterday. I had
fun writing it, though it took a lot longer than I thought it would. Please let
me know if you have any questions. ^-^
1 comment:
I wish I had a couple of hours for this! You stinker, you know how much I enjoy KPop.
Saranghae, Eomma!
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