When I was about eight or so, I wanted a dog. I begged my parents to get me a dog, and finally they did. We went to the local pound and picked out a six month old golden lab/collie mix named C.J. She was a pretty dog, and could have been a good dog, but at eight, I wasn't actually very good with dogs. Since she was supposed to be mine, I was the one who was supposed to feed her, but I constantly forgot. And I never went out to play with her because I was little and she was big, and she scared me. And my two younger brothers thought it was funny to throw things at her, like sticks and bricks. C.J. was constantly escaping the fenced backyard, not that she was ever getting very far, and dad was constantly upgrading her chain to keep her inside.
Finally, mom and dad decided that enough was enough. It was pretty clear--to them at least--that there was a reason she kept escaping, and and they thought it was because she was pregnant and didn't want to have puppies with my brothers throwing things at her. So, mom and dad sent her back to the pound.
For a long time, our family swore we would never have another dog. They were too much work, my siblings and I weren't old enough or big enough to take care of one by ourselves, and mom just didn't like dogs.
Cut ahead 13 years, and we have a dog again. This time, a 5 month old German Shepherd/Mastiff mix named Charlie. (Which is a funny story in itself) This time the dog is my brother Joe's, though somehow everyone else has become the caretakers. I walk him every morning, dad feeds him every morning, and the two little boys feed and play with him in the afternoon when they get home from school.
This time around, owning a dog has been much easier. I'm much bigger than him, so I'm not afraid of him--though he is stronger than me--and thankfully he doesn't bark. He only whines, and only when no one has fed him. He has his own fenced area and doesn't ever try to escape, and he's generally a loved part of the family. I don't think he would ever try to escape, even if given the chance. He always just comes back.
Sorry if this post doesn't have anything to do with the world.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
My Process
A while ago I read a post entry on my idol Kateness's blog about her writing process and how she imagines things before putting it down on paper. It was really interesting to read, because how she does it is completely different than how I do it.
I am a very visual person. I love watching movies and TV shows as much as I love reading and writing. My parents try to get me to stop because they think I watch too much, but in my mind it's the same as reading a good book. And because I'm such a visual person, it translates into how I think.
When I write it's sometimes hard to get the words down on paper because in my head, I see everything like I was watching a movie. So instead of being able to just think up the words to put down, I have to translate what I see in my head into words first, and it doesn't always come out right. And sometimes what I watch or read or see or hear can change what I see in my head.
I'll give you an example of this process: when I'm writing I'll see a scene in my head. It'll be very specific choreography and setting. The only thing I have to come up with on my own is dialogue. So I'll try to write what I see. The first time, it'll usually come out a little wrong, like a character turns left when she should have turned right, or I describe the walls slightly wrong. When I re-read it, I'll notice the differences, because I'll have the original playing in the back of my head and the visual of what I'm reading playing in the front of my head, and I'll compare the two. Then I'll go back and change what needs to be changed.
So that's how I write. In a way it's harder than just visualizing the words that need to be on the paper, because I have to act as translator, and sometimes my writing comes out rushed because I'm trying to describe everything I see without delving into what the characters or feeling. But it works for me.
I am a very visual person. I love watching movies and TV shows as much as I love reading and writing. My parents try to get me to stop because they think I watch too much, but in my mind it's the same as reading a good book. And because I'm such a visual person, it translates into how I think.
When I write it's sometimes hard to get the words down on paper because in my head, I see everything like I was watching a movie. So instead of being able to just think up the words to put down, I have to translate what I see in my head into words first, and it doesn't always come out right. And sometimes what I watch or read or see or hear can change what I see in my head.
I'll give you an example of this process: when I'm writing I'll see a scene in my head. It'll be very specific choreography and setting. The only thing I have to come up with on my own is dialogue. So I'll try to write what I see. The first time, it'll usually come out a little wrong, like a character turns left when she should have turned right, or I describe the walls slightly wrong. When I re-read it, I'll notice the differences, because I'll have the original playing in the back of my head and the visual of what I'm reading playing in the front of my head, and I'll compare the two. Then I'll go back and change what needs to be changed.
So that's how I write. In a way it's harder than just visualizing the words that need to be on the paper, because I have to act as translator, and sometimes my writing comes out rushed because I'm trying to describe everything I see without delving into what the characters or feeling. But it works for me.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Autumn
I'm a day late, and I apologize.
The leaves have been turning and falling the last week or so and it's been getting colder. It's still a little warm during the day, but it gets really cold at night, and it's still cold during the morning before the sun has burned away the cloud cover. It's really beautiful here, and I feel kind of lucky that I get to be at home to see it.
Everything around me is reminding me why I love Fall in general and October and November in particular. Everywhere I go I see beautifully colored trees and the fields are all either harvested or a pretty golden color. There are Halloween decorations everywhere, and Halloween is my favorite holiday (not for the obvious reasons though.) The colder weather forces everyone to wear longer sleeves and sweaters, and I LOVE wearing sweaters and jackets and scarves.
And my absolute favorite thing about Fall? November First, when I can start on a brand new novel and know that I'll have it finished by November Thirtieth. I love November so much, that I'm always antsy for it months in advance.
The only hard thing about cold weather in the morning, is I have to go running every morning to get ready for basic training, and when you first go outside in running shorts it's pretty cold. My legs always turn instant red, and it takes me a long time to get warmed up.
Thankfully, I walk the dog for half an hour before I go running, so I'm all toasty warm before starting running.
The leaves have been turning and falling the last week or so and it's been getting colder. It's still a little warm during the day, but it gets really cold at night, and it's still cold during the morning before the sun has burned away the cloud cover. It's really beautiful here, and I feel kind of lucky that I get to be at home to see it.
Everything around me is reminding me why I love Fall in general and October and November in particular. Everywhere I go I see beautifully colored trees and the fields are all either harvested or a pretty golden color. There are Halloween decorations everywhere, and Halloween is my favorite holiday (not for the obvious reasons though.) The colder weather forces everyone to wear longer sleeves and sweaters, and I LOVE wearing sweaters and jackets and scarves.
And my absolute favorite thing about Fall? November First, when I can start on a brand new novel and know that I'll have it finished by November Thirtieth. I love November so much, that I'm always antsy for it months in advance.
The only hard thing about cold weather in the morning, is I have to go running every morning to get ready for basic training, and when you first go outside in running shorts it's pretty cold. My legs always turn instant red, and it takes me a long time to get warmed up.
Thankfully, I walk the dog for half an hour before I go running, so I'm all toasty warm before starting running.
Friday, October 15, 2010
Swap This
The middle of last month I discovered a website that has become my reading self's best friend. It's called Paperback Swap, and once you are a member you swap books with other members. You post what books you have available, and people request the ones they want. You mail the books to the people and get book credits in return. Then, you can use those credits to order books that you want. The only thing you ever have to pay for is postage to mail the books to people.
The downside to this is they don't always have the books you want. It's a bit like a used bookstore; they only have what people give them. But other than that, it's a dream come true for someone who has limited funds for buying books.
Since joining I've ordered maybe twenty books, and mailed at least that many. It's fun browsing the books that they have available, and the website even recommends books to you based on books you rate, books on your wishlist, books you've ordered, and books you have on your bookshelf. It's great.
If you haven't heard of it already, I suggest checking the site out. It's a great way to get new books without having to invest $7-$10 in one.
The downside to this is they don't always have the books you want. It's a bit like a used bookstore; they only have what people give them. But other than that, it's a dream come true for someone who has limited funds for buying books.
Since joining I've ordered maybe twenty books, and mailed at least that many. It's fun browsing the books that they have available, and the website even recommends books to you based on books you rate, books on your wishlist, books you've ordered, and books you have on your bookshelf. It's great.
If you haven't heard of it already, I suggest checking the site out. It's a great way to get new books without having to invest $7-$10 in one.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Quick Note
So, in my working towards enlisting in the Air Force, I went and took the ASVAB today. For those who don't know what that is, it stands for Armed Forces Vocational Aptitude Battery, and it is pretty much the entrance exam for the military. If you don't get a certain score--and each branch has a different requirement--you don't get in.
The Air Force has the highest score requirement of 65. When I took the practice test three weeks ago at the recruiters, I got a 50, mainly because my math was so bad. So I've spent the last three weeks working on my math, and took the test today.
I GOT AN 88. 'Nuff said.
The Air Force has the highest score requirement of 65. When I took the practice test three weeks ago at the recruiters, I got a 50, mainly because my math was so bad. So I've spent the last three weeks working on my math, and took the test today.
I GOT AN 88. 'Nuff said.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Neverending Flow
I never lack for ideas for writing. At least twice a day I'll be struck by a brilliant idea, but since I'm usually working on something, I'll write the idea down and sticking with my ever-growing stack of ideas. In fact, if I stacked up all my ideas that I haven't been able to do anything with, it would probably be in danger of toppling over.
The problem is I have trouble finishing a project. While I have two novels, neither of them are finished, and both have been through five or more drafts. I get bored/sick of stories after working on them for a couple of months straight. This really puts a damper on my work. I can't get published if I can't finish anything.
Thankfully, I had an epiphany early last week that will solve all my problems. I hope. You see, I can't seem to write anything longer than 50k, so why not just write 50k novels? There aren't enough of them on the bookshelves anyway, and smaller books would be able to sell for a little bit cheaper and would take less time to read, allowing the people who want to read but don't have the time/money to actually read.
And I actually like this idea. If I pushed myself I'd be able to have write and edit a novel start to finish in one-two months, getting it done before I got bored, and the quicker I can finish a novel the quicker I can start on another idea.
And maybe, as I get better at putting stories together I'll get better at writing longer and longer novels, until I can write a full length novel without any problems.
What do you think? Would you purchase a short--meaning 40k-50k, or less than 200 pages-- novel?
The problem is I have trouble finishing a project. While I have two novels, neither of them are finished, and both have been through five or more drafts. I get bored/sick of stories after working on them for a couple of months straight. This really puts a damper on my work. I can't get published if I can't finish anything.
Thankfully, I had an epiphany early last week that will solve all my problems. I hope. You see, I can't seem to write anything longer than 50k, so why not just write 50k novels? There aren't enough of them on the bookshelves anyway, and smaller books would be able to sell for a little bit cheaper and would take less time to read, allowing the people who want to read but don't have the time/money to actually read.
And I actually like this idea. If I pushed myself I'd be able to have write and edit a novel start to finish in one-two months, getting it done before I got bored, and the quicker I can finish a novel the quicker I can start on another idea.
And maybe, as I get better at putting stories together I'll get better at writing longer and longer novels, until I can write a full length novel without any problems.
What do you think? Would you purchase a short--meaning 40k-50k, or less than 200 pages-- novel?
Monday, October 11, 2010
That's my name, don't wear it out
For a long time now, I've gone by the name Noble. This may come as a surprise, but it is actually short for Dark Haired Noble. The name is a bit odd, when you think of how light my hair is, but the name actually has nothing to do with me. But I've gone by it for such a long time now, that the name is as much a part of me as the name my parents gave to me.
It started back when I was about sixteen or so when I was in my 'join-every-community-forum-that-looks-good' phase. I remember I had just joined a community that discussed science fiction books and movies under a generic alias. The community had a gallery of avatars to choose from, and one day I was browsing through the gallery when I decided I wanted a picture of Padme Amidala from Star Wars Attack of the Clones as my avatar.
At this point, I decided that my alias didn't work with the picture, so--being me--I wanted to change the name, rather than the picture. I brainstormed a whole list of names that would work with the picture, and after thinking about it for all of two hours, I decided on Dark Haired Noble. It was a clever reference to Padme, as well as her daughter Leia, both of whom have dark hair.
The name stuck around, sort of on the fringes of my mind and thoughts, for another year before it really became who I was. Originally my writing pen name was Artemis, after my favorite Greek Goddess. But when I started my senior--and only--year of high school, I met a girl who is now one of my best friends. When she found out about my online alias of Dark Haired Noble, she immediately started calling me Noble instead of my real name. After that, I became Noble, and Noble became me.
And that's the story of a name. Do you have an interesting nickname that has a cool history to it? If so, I want to hear about it!
It started back when I was about sixteen or so when I was in my 'join-every-community-forum-that-looks-good' phase. I remember I had just joined a community that discussed science fiction books and movies under a generic alias. The community had a gallery of avatars to choose from, and one day I was browsing through the gallery when I decided I wanted a picture of Padme Amidala from Star Wars Attack of the Clones as my avatar.
At this point, I decided that my alias didn't work with the picture, so--being me--I wanted to change the name, rather than the picture. I brainstormed a whole list of names that would work with the picture, and after thinking about it for all of two hours, I decided on Dark Haired Noble. It was a clever reference to Padme, as well as her daughter Leia, both of whom have dark hair.
The name stuck around, sort of on the fringes of my mind and thoughts, for another year before it really became who I was. Originally my writing pen name was Artemis, after my favorite Greek Goddess. But when I started my senior--and only--year of high school, I met a girl who is now one of my best friends. When she found out about my online alias of Dark Haired Noble, she immediately started calling me Noble instead of my real name. After that, I became Noble, and Noble became me.
And that's the story of a name. Do you have an interesting nickname that has a cool history to it? If so, I want to hear about it!
Sunday, October 10, 2010
The Future of the Blog
I'm sorry for the slightly depressing post last time. I wasn't having a very good week and needed to vent a little. That's over though, and I feel much better now. Anyway, I decided today that I needed to get my rear in gear and make this blog less like a diary where I vent and more like an actual blog.
So, from now on I will be posting on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.
Mondays I will talk about myself and/or about how things went during the previous week. This will be the post where I'll keep you updated on my enlistment process and when I'll be shipping out, etc. And after I get out of Tech School I'll talk about life in the military and how I'm managing to survive.
Wednesdays I'll post something about my writing. Excerpts, thought processes, and progress, etc.
Fridays I'll talk about the world, either something I saw in the news, some topic I've become passionate about, that sort of thing. This will be the day I keep with my blog title and tell you all how the world is, according to me. If there is a subject you want me to talk about, feel free to email me and ask.
I'm tempted to also say I'll write a book review sometime, but I can't promise this one. I don't FINISH books often enough, despite how often I start them.
Anyway, this new schedule will start tomorrow.
So, from now on I will be posting on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.
Mondays I will talk about myself and/or about how things went during the previous week. This will be the post where I'll keep you updated on my enlistment process and when I'll be shipping out, etc. And after I get out of Tech School I'll talk about life in the military and how I'm managing to survive.
Wednesdays I'll post something about my writing. Excerpts, thought processes, and progress, etc.
Fridays I'll talk about the world, either something I saw in the news, some topic I've become passionate about, that sort of thing. This will be the day I keep with my blog title and tell you all how the world is, according to me. If there is a subject you want me to talk about, feel free to email me and ask.
I'm tempted to also say I'll write a book review sometime, but I can't promise this one. I don't FINISH books often enough, despite how often I start them.
Anyway, this new schedule will start tomorrow.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
ME
This post is dedicated to my parents: may they read this and understand why I can't live up to their expectations.
I'm going to be honest here. This will probably be the hardest post I'll ever write, and it's full of secrets that I've kept from everyone outside of my family. But I think the first step to getting over it is to tell people about it.
You see, I have a problem that is interfering with my progression in life. I have a debilitating shyness so deep that I can't hardly go anywhere or do anything without someone there to give me emotional support. It's embarrassing to be honest, and I'm not sure how I became like this. I used to be the kind of kid who made friends easily and who did things by herself with out problems. Maybe it was the years in Young Women where I didn't have many friends and almost always felt like I was too different to be including in the groups. I was always the only one in my age group, and because of this I matured a lot different than the other girls. In someways I became more mature, in others, less. I was also the only one who never went to public school, so I couldn't relate to most of the girls and the things they talked about with each other.
This problem has brought my parents no end of grief. Most of the time my mom has to almost literally strong-arm me into doing things like calling strangers on the phone or going into buildings by myself. Most of the time from what I can tell they think that this is because I'm either lazy or I don't want to do things. Far from it. I'm actually terrified to do these things. And I hate myself for being so scared of doing normal, every day things. But I can't see a way around this, can't see a way to face my shyness without making it worse.
Recently this problem has ballooned and is threatening to sink my future. After a lot of thinking and praying since about mid June, I've come to the conclusion that enlisting in the Air Force is the right thing for me to do right now. It's an interesting change in my career desire, and I'm actually excited to be apart of something that helps people and will give me a chance to become better. However, once again, my uber-shyness has gotten in the way of my progression.
I spoke with the AF recruiter in Council Bluffs two weeks ago. Everything was going great, he was really nice and helpful, and I really thought I would have a shot at getting in. Then, I took the practice ASVAB test they had there. For those of you who don't know, the ASVAB is pretty much the entrance exam into all branches of the military. The test has four parts to it; two English, and two mathematics. Naturally, I got every English question correct. However, I completely failed the math sections. I've never been good with math, and I'll admit I don't have all my math facts memorized. I just never had the need to. I have a calculator, and my writing doesn't need math.
With such a poor math school, my total score was 15 points below the requirement to enlist. After that, the recruiter was cooler towards me, like he wasn't interested in helping me get into the AF anymore.
At the start of the interview, everything had been going well. I had gone in by myself, and he was really nice. But as soon as he saw that score and started acting differently, my resolve faltered and I began to have doubts again.
Now, he said he was going to call last week, and I sure he tried, but our phone was out all week, so he never got through. Which means that now my parents are bugging me to call him this week and set up the meeting we're supposed to have again this week. Only I can't bring myself to call him, because I don't want to face him again. It was extremely embarrassing to get such a poor math school, especially after telling him that I'd been homeschooled. I can only imagine what kind of poor education he thinks I got.
So now I'm stuck, needed to move forward with my life but unable to because of my terrible shyness.
If you've read this far, thank you for listening to my whining. I'm sorry if this has changed you outlook on me for the bad.
I'm going to be honest here. This will probably be the hardest post I'll ever write, and it's full of secrets that I've kept from everyone outside of my family. But I think the first step to getting over it is to tell people about it.
You see, I have a problem that is interfering with my progression in life. I have a debilitating shyness so deep that I can't hardly go anywhere or do anything without someone there to give me emotional support. It's embarrassing to be honest, and I'm not sure how I became like this. I used to be the kind of kid who made friends easily and who did things by herself with out problems. Maybe it was the years in Young Women where I didn't have many friends and almost always felt like I was too different to be including in the groups. I was always the only one in my age group, and because of this I matured a lot different than the other girls. In someways I became more mature, in others, less. I was also the only one who never went to public school, so I couldn't relate to most of the girls and the things they talked about with each other.
This problem has brought my parents no end of grief. Most of the time my mom has to almost literally strong-arm me into doing things like calling strangers on the phone or going into buildings by myself. Most of the time from what I can tell they think that this is because I'm either lazy or I don't want to do things. Far from it. I'm actually terrified to do these things. And I hate myself for being so scared of doing normal, every day things. But I can't see a way around this, can't see a way to face my shyness without making it worse.
Recently this problem has ballooned and is threatening to sink my future. After a lot of thinking and praying since about mid June, I've come to the conclusion that enlisting in the Air Force is the right thing for me to do right now. It's an interesting change in my career desire, and I'm actually excited to be apart of something that helps people and will give me a chance to become better. However, once again, my uber-shyness has gotten in the way of my progression.
I spoke with the AF recruiter in Council Bluffs two weeks ago. Everything was going great, he was really nice and helpful, and I really thought I would have a shot at getting in. Then, I took the practice ASVAB test they had there. For those of you who don't know, the ASVAB is pretty much the entrance exam into all branches of the military. The test has four parts to it; two English, and two mathematics. Naturally, I got every English question correct. However, I completely failed the math sections. I've never been good with math, and I'll admit I don't have all my math facts memorized. I just never had the need to. I have a calculator, and my writing doesn't need math.
With such a poor math school, my total score was 15 points below the requirement to enlist. After that, the recruiter was cooler towards me, like he wasn't interested in helping me get into the AF anymore.
At the start of the interview, everything had been going well. I had gone in by myself, and he was really nice. But as soon as he saw that score and started acting differently, my resolve faltered and I began to have doubts again.
Now, he said he was going to call last week, and I sure he tried, but our phone was out all week, so he never got through. Which means that now my parents are bugging me to call him this week and set up the meeting we're supposed to have again this week. Only I can't bring myself to call him, because I don't want to face him again. It was extremely embarrassing to get such a poor math school, especially after telling him that I'd been homeschooled. I can only imagine what kind of poor education he thinks I got.
So now I'm stuck, needed to move forward with my life but unable to because of my terrible shyness.
If you've read this far, thank you for listening to my whining. I'm sorry if this has changed you outlook on me for the bad.
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